How to know if your partner is cheating?

Is your ‘spidey-senses’ kicking in?  Do you suspect that your partner has been changing more than is deemed normal? Or do you see indisputable visual symptoms that your partner is cheating on you?

Well, in terms of fidelity, most of us tend to give our spouses the benefit of the doubt. However, symptoms of cheating do exist. According to a 2020 poll, one in every four newly married young adults admitted to cheating, with just half confessing.

Most of us are well aware of the primary symptoms of cheating. Be it sneakingly surfing dating websites or uttering lame excuses when coming home late. But, accusing someone without an authentic point can be baseless. Moreover, before confirming that your partner is cheating on you, a few subtle first signs should be considered. 

What are the Top 5 signs of cheating?

1) An affair turned relationship
Affair turned relationship
What are the Top 5 signs of cheating?

With the growing infidelity rates, there are a lot of affairs that later turn into a relationship. However, once a cheater, always a cheater! The bitter truth is that many people cheat on their spouses because their affair was ‘better’ than their current relationship. But, ever thought what they would do if they found someone even better than their affair? Well, it sounds like a loop, doesn’t it? Hence, trusting that they would be loyal to their affair is absurd. 

2) Reverse accusations
Reverse accusations
Is he cheating on me?

Asking questions to find out about something is human nature. When it comes to accusing someone of cheating, we all take the primary step to ask questions. But, if you are asking a question to a potential cheater, you would be surprised when the tables turn against you. According to various researches on human body language and thinking, when a cheater is suspected and asked questions, the initial step of the cheater is to use a safeguarded technique called reverse accusing. Cheaters start falsely accusing the other person of cheating merely to escape from the cornered situation and make themselves dominant in the argument. 

3) Vanishing balances

Cheaters tend to spend more than usual amounts when around their affairs. Be it a luxurious dinner or various branded shopping lists. This sudden change of events is a vital sign that your spouse is cheating on you. 

4) Unusual sex moves
Unusual sex moves
Is she cheating on me?

Another potential sign of a cheater comes from the bedroom. Have you been in a situation where your partner suddenly starts to make new sex moves on you? Which is something that you have never witnessed them do before? Well, any typical person with just a tiny amount of logical thinking can derive the fact that their spouses are learning and experimenting with these ‘out of the blue’ moves from somewhere else. Moreover, this may not be an evident sign but a sign to make a note of if your suspicions are sky-high. 

5) A sudden change in the routine

Though these are unusual signs of cheating, one must understand that any abrupt changes in their routine result from early stages in affairs. This sudden change can vary from person to person. There could be a sudden liking towards shopping often or being overly cautious about their looks. Also, any sudden new interests like enrolling in gyms, volunteering for modeling, or simply hanging out with their friends more often, can be a vital sign of a cheating partner. 

What are the top 5 physical signs of cheating? 

Some of the physical signs of a cheating wife or signs of a cheating husband are: 

1) Family events? No!
Saying no to family events
Avoiding all family events is a sure sign of cheating

A cheater is less likely to have any emotional connection with their partner. Hence, they entirely avoid any family functions or events whatsoever. They often come up with excuses like having an important meeting to attend or having other plans that they had promised to participate in. 

2) Anger becomes a part of the routine
Getting angry for everything
Getting angry at everything is a way of showing guilt

Cheaters often get irritated and annoyed by anything their partners do. Even the partner’s slightest flaws that were considered to be ‘cute’ at the start of the relationship become annoying for the cheater with time. For instance, if you want to talk to your partner about something, but they avoid it with anger by giving various excuses is deemed a sign of a cheating partner.

3) 100 to a complete zero

As much as your partner is busy with their own lives, they seem to have zero concerns regarding yours. A point in life where she loves to listen, involve and encourage you on your process becomes just a lost dream! If your partner seems bored or entirely not interested in your life or your routines, then it is a significant physical sign of a cheating partner. 

4) You are not in the picture anymore
Not in the picture anymore
Are they trying to look good all of a sudden?

If your partner is cheating on you, they never want you around their events, friends, or work colleagues, irrespective of the scenario. Even if you are around, they start acting weird. They want to have their own privacy, not just outside but inside the home too. 

5) More self-conscious and self-aware 

Another evident physical sign of a cheating partner is that they become more conscious about their looks and how they present themselves. Being confident, sexy, and happy about their looks is something anyone goes through when in love. However, if all these factors are suddenly squeezed inside their routine, it is a sign of a potential cheating partner. Moreover, the sad part is that this is also the primary physical sign to pay attention to when your partner is cheating. 

Top 5 Verbal signs of a cheating partner

1) Decreased eye-contact 
Top 5 Verbal signs of a cheating partner

When confronted with a straightforward question, a cheater will always turn away. This is especially true when they are being questioned about their location. After you have asked your question, try to press your partner on their lack of eye contact. If they are lying, they won’t look you in the eyes, or they will switch the topic and create an argument.

2) Overacting scenario

The perfect verbal sign of a cheating partner is when they add exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures while telling a simple story. As a reluctant audience member, you must keep your guard up. Pay attention to their regular speech flow in comparison to now. There is a high chance that your lover is using their acting skills to persuade you of something.

3) Hesitation everywhere

According to top body language experts, using umm, hmm, and ahh while talking is the brain’s way of saying, “Damn, I need time to think of an excuse!”. To be more precise, it is an ‘excuse’ phrase used by cheaters to find a way out with their lies. Hesitating while asked questions are one of the vital verbal signs of a cheating partner. 

4) Fill in the blanks

Another verbal sign to pay attention to is when your partner uses short, concise answers. People caught up in falsehoods tend to believe that less is better than more. Although this tactic is brilliant in theory, when used practically, it fails miserably. We can easily find out that they are hiding something or do not want to engage in an active conversation. 

5) Reduced public affection
No to public affection
Common app used by cheaters

One of the most common ways couples express their love for each other is via public displays of affection. It’s no wonder that its absence should raise red flags in all kinds of relationships.

Common app used by cheaters

It goes without saying that finding any dating application on your partner’s phone can be pretty alarming. Dating applications like Tinder, Bumble or OnlyFans offer a chance to communicate with various people from your locality for a quick hookup or something serious. Also, if someone uses these applications when in an active relationship, it is an evident sign of them cheating on their partners. 

Our cellphones have become one of the essential communication tools. Although it has a more fantastic positive side, cheaters often exploit the privacy advantage that our smartphones provide us. Not just phone calls, but cheaters use a handful of other applications to communicate with their secret lovers. Some of the significant applications used by cheaters are:


Your partner may be using WhatsApp with a secret love partner, to hide their messages. Although this application does not provide hidden chats, a cheating partner might erase incriminating text messages from the chat history, making you less likely to discover them.


Viber is a messaging with a built-in little trick, allowing you to make messages disappear automatically after a few minutes. Many sources prove that Viber is the most common application for cheaters to send intimate images and messages to their secret lovers. However, the deleted chats can be brought back if a PIN is entered in the application. 


Just like Viber, Signal is another messaging application with disappearing messages. Signal also provides end-to-end encryption, meaning that no one else can decrypt the messages that a person sends. 


Telegram is a well-known chat App that can be used to make it less obvious that they are talking to a secret partner. However, Telegram’s current version, like Signal and Viber, features an auto-destruct function for messages as well as hidden chats that are available only if a PIN is entered.

How to catch your cheating partner online, in three steps? 

There are plenty of ways to find out if a partner is cheating. We are well aware of the significant ways like tracking their location through applications or checking their phones secretively. However, there are some subtle tactics to determine if your partner is cheating on you.

Reverse username search is a method to find people through their online registered usernames. When making new accounts, most users use the same or similar usernames. This helps you find your partner’s most visited sites or find out about the secret lover your partner seems to be more often in conversation with. Although there are many applications available to do a reverse username search, the best and easiest way is to use the Google search engine. Simply enter the username of your partner in the search bar. Google automatically finds all relevant websites the username is associated with, helping you to check on their activities sneakingly.

Like reverse username search, reverse e-mail search is where you enter your partners’ e-mail addresses and find out about their affiliated websites. Reverse e-mail search outweighs reverse username search as people may have different usernames for different websites. However, many are not too brainy to change their e-mail address for various websites that they register. 

3) Surf their social handles

Unlike reverse username or e-mail search, surfing their social handles is the most straightforward way to find out if your partner is cheating. If your partner is cheating on you, they often remove a lot of pictures on their social media pages that have you in them.  Also, they tend to add more revealing photographs of themselves. This bold move can be a clear sign of a cheating partner. 

4) Talk to their friends

Another way to find out if your partner is cheating is through talking to their friends. Cheaters often disclose a lot of sensitive matters to their close friends. Although their friends are least likely to throw away their friendship and help you, you can easily understand if their friends are covering up for or not. Some might even understand the situation, and out of empathy, help you out by giving you specific hints. So, if your suspicions are sky-high, it is always best to ask a few of your partner’s friends about your partner’s sudden change in lifestyle or schedule. 

5) Check Scammer Databases

Your partner may actually be a secret scammer, who is cheating online, but not for what you think. They could just enjoy the excitement of online flirting but without the actual meeting. If they have ever done this in the past, they may have been flagged as a potential ‘romance scammer’. These people typically flirt online but never meet, which can cause someone to report them as ‘potential scammers’. One of the largest Scam Databases on Romance Scammers can be checked quickly, and for free to see if this is the case.

6) Monitor their online activity with an automatic tool

Sure, this may seem extreme…but if you need to be sure, and run out of other options, what can you do?

There are websites out there used by online investigators that let you use tools to watch and report via email to you. They can watch email addresses, usernames, profile pictures, and whether they pop up on new dating sites or social networks online. Once such investigator tool we know of is specialized for hunting scammers but is perfect for monitoring any online identity. ScamSearch offers a free trial, which is handy. Also, if you do happen to find hard proof using this tool, they let you download a professional PDF report that can be presented to anyone.

In the end..

Cheating on your partner is the worst way to repay their love and care for you! Although it can be good for a temporary amount of time, always understand that a cheater not only puts themselves but their whole family in an embarrassing situation. It is always best to understand what you want and what you don’t want in life before taking a leap of faith. Also, it is best to be truthful to your partner even if you have done something terrible. It might hurt them a lot but at least relieve them from expecting more and getting depressed in the long run! 

At the end of it all, once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t fall for their excuses, there is always someone else out there!